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Breakup warning signs

As much as you may want this relationship to work, you might be seeing some warning signs of a break-up looming in the shadows. You might be able to save it and at the worst you might just be prepared for it if you start looking for the signs and know what to look for. There are many things that may be indicating that a break up is right around the corner.

One thing that you might find yourself doing is walking on eggshells. If there has been any change or added tension in the air and you feel like you have to tread carefully with every word you say or action you take, then things might be getting bad. It may even be that they are starting to get easily angered and will blow up with the slightest provocation. Be sure that you don’t stick around if it at all turns violent.

If you seem to notice an increase in the amount of criticisms coming your way that may also be a sign. Where there used to be nothing but praise, now there is nothing but critical remarks. It could be that you are doing everything wrong, but more likely it is that they are now looking at you through a set of lenses that sees you in a negative light for some reason. They begin to see you in a negative light. It might be they are looking for reasons to justify their desire to leave. Whatever you do, don’t let this affect your self-esteem. It isn’t you, it’s them and there is probably nothing that you can do to change their perception.

Sometimes you will notice a difference in the way affection is shown to you. It could be anything from hugs with a pat on the back or a less attention paid to kissing. You will notice that the little love gestures that were so prevalent earlier are no longer there. There is less hand holding, less winks from across the room, and more space in between the two of you on the couch. Every relationship will go through phases where there is a little less affection shown, but when it is combined with other warning signs you might have trouble.

If your lover has a new group of friends that they are spending time around, it could mean trouble for your relationship. It could mean that they are now looking for some big changes in their life. You might be the next one so you will need to keep an eye on this. Sometimes it could be something resembling a mid life crisis and in many instances it could be that this new group of friends is having a negative influence on your partner and encouraging them to leave. Your love might get the feeling that you are holding them back. Again, don’t take this personally as it has more to do with a phase that they are going through. It will affect you personally, but it isn’t your fault.

Breaking up is not a fun thing, but it is a part of life for most people. Don’t let yourself be blindsided by a break up. Keep an eye out for warning signs of a break up and you might be able to stop it from happening. At the very least you will be more prepared for it.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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Breakups happen - watch for these things

Now that we got that out of the way, you may be wondering if your relationship is headed in the wrong direction. While you can’t always be sure until you’re told face-to-face, there are a few end of relationship breakup signals you should be aware of.

The surest signals are changes in your mate’s behavioral patterns. A small change here or there probably doesn’t mean much. What you need to be aware of are big changes in habits and behavior. Do they all of a sudden start talking a lot more? Are they fidgety around you? Do they use stronger, harsher words than they used to?

Emotional distancing is one of those things that’s hard to quantify, and even harder to explain properly. In essence, if you notice your mate isn’t as warm an affectionate as they used to be, or if they seem to be somewhere else even when you’re in the same room, that could be a sign of things coming to an end. You may recognize that the closeness is gone, but you’re not quite able to pinpoint why.

Spending less time together is one of the classic end of relationship breakup signals. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to spend every minute of every day together. But if you used to go places together and “hang out” frequently, and now you’re lucky to see each other for an hour a day, that’s a strong indicator of trouble just around the corner.

If there is an observable difference in how much you are arguing (more or less) that is another signal that your status as a couple is about ready to go through some changes. While you may welcome fewer arguments, it can be a symptom of a reduced desire to work things out.

One of the trickier signs is if your partner starts being much more romantic than they ever were before. A lot of times this is done to cover up feelings of guilt. It should be noted that this guilt doesn’t always derive from having an affair, it can also stem from their thinking about leaving. Regardless, it can be a way of compensating, or it could be for good reasons.

Now, it should be noted that any or all of these signals being present may not mean anything as far as your relationship is concerned. It could be a sign of other problems. Talk to your significant other, remaining calm as you do so, and try to figure out what the underlying problem is.

Any one of these end of relationship breakup signals could mean the end of being together is near, or it may not mean anything at all. The best thing to do if you spot a potential problem is to look at other potential warning signs. If you start noticing a lot of your significant other’s actions are out of place, then it is probably time to confront your mate to find out how they’re feeling and what their thoughts about your relationship are.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

Ending A Relationship

The first thing you need to convince yourself of is that the past is the past. It is a common tactic to try to purposely erase the memory of your ex completely from your mind. But, trying to forget it means you are focusing on it. In other words, you are turning the past into the present. By doing that, you can be sure that you are dredging up old, painful memories and that you will feel miserable in the process

As mentioned it’s not easy, in fact, it can be emotionally wrenching and one of the toughest things to face as you go through life. It may seem impossible now, but you must let things run their course. Give it some time. They say “time heals all wounds”, and though it’s difficult and you feel awful, the saying is true. Keep this in mind as you’re dealing with ending a relationship.

Another thing you must do is establish firm ground rules, especially if you know there will be situations where you are likely to encounter one another; work is one such example. Your best bet is to keep things as platonic as possible at first. Sure, there were good times, but you don’t want to start talking about them immediately after the break up. You also want to avoid talking about the bad times, or whatever led to the breakup.

When dealing with ending a relationship, you may want to do your best to avoid your ex, but don’t do this to the point of obsession. If you are trying too hard to avoid them, you are, in reality, giving them more power, and not dealing with your real feelings.

By the same token, you need to understand that the relationship is over, at least for now. Don’t make the mistake of being overly friendly to show you are “back to normal”. It will only make you look foolish or phony. You may also want to get back together, but you just have to give this some time. If you try jumping back in too quickly, you run a high risk of alienating your ex even further.

Perhaps you will never get back together, maybe you have no intentions of doing so, but it’s always a good idea to get along with other people. Following the tips above will leave the door open to the possibility of reconciling, or, at the very least, not having your blood boil every time you hear of or see your ex.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

Finding a new direction for your life

While poor relationships can also be split into two distinct stages of their own: Before break-up and after break-up. There is a bit of dark humor there, because you will often think you are in the one of the two good relationship stages until it’s too late.

Perhaps that’s why sadness, anger, guilt and depression are just a few of the emotions that make having a very hard time coping after break-up a not too uncommon experience. After all, things are going along just fine, because you are either committed to each other already, or about to be…at least that’s what you’re thinking. Then, wham! You find out you are now going through the after break-up. Here are a few ways to help you get through this difficult time more easily.

One of the best things you can do is find useful outlets for your time. While you may feel like punching a hole in the wall or other destructive things, they won’t do anything to help. The key is to find positive ways to use your time. Stay active at work or with your other commitments. If your schedule allows, you can even add an activity or two. Just be careful to not overdo it. There is often a fine line between staying active and denial.

Having a very hard time coping after break-up usually results in crawling into a little hole and wallowing in self-pity. That may be a bit blunt for some, but I hope it shakes them up! You have to be with people. There’s no other way around it.

Talk to a trusted friend, preferably one that doesn’t talk to your ex. Having someone to listen to you will go a long way towards helping you deal with the bad feelings you’re experiencing. Even though friends do their best, sometimes they just aren’t able to listen enough. You can take this idea to the next level by getting help from a mental health professional or find a therapist – some people don’t go out of fear of embarrassment or ridicule, but they are there to help, and are required to keep everything confidential.

Forgiveness can be hard to give, but it is wonderfully liberating. If your ex was at fault, forgive them. Even tougher to do, though, is forgiving yourself. Whether it was really your fault or not isn’t the point. Getting rid of the guilt is.

You may want to avoid everything but you will eventually have to face the fact that you went through a break up. That is, ultimately, the only way to ever get over it completely. You can’t ignore it forever. Bad stuff happens to good people. You have to move on.

Feeling bad after a break-up is normal. Staying attached to those feelings for a long time isn’t healthy. Use the tips above to start getting to a more positive place. Once you do, you will be able to enjoy life much more than you do now.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here