The Magic of Making Up ebook

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here or how to move on from a failed relationship.

What is at the top of your list?
- regret?
- remorse?
- sex?
- love?

Many people choose to have sex as being at the top of your list but if you give them a minute or two longer to think about it, to really let the idea of their life coming to an end at a specified time, they choose to correct old mistakes, to apologize for old slights and to rekindle love so they leave this world as they entered it, surrounded by love and pure of spirit.

The choice on how you live your life has affected everyone you’ve ever been in contact with, whether for an instant or a decade.

You have the opportunity to change the direction of your life right now, what is the next step you should take?

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

Even if the two of you split up on friendly terms, there will be some negative feelings. You will feel hurt, angry, guilty and confused. Such emotions are to be expected, but there is one feeling that may be harder to deal with, and that is how to get over someone you love. Don’t worry, all of this is completely normal.

Before you start trying to get over your ex, you need to make sure that’s what you really want to do. Your emotions will be running high after a break up, and it’s easy to confuse one feeling for another. So, it’s very possible that the reason you can’t get over them is because you don’t want to…you just think you do.

Yes, it can be confusing, so you need to calm down first. You need to let the dust of the broken relationship settle for a while before you make any permanent decisions. There is always a chance that you will realize that you want to try to work things out. However, for the rest of this article, we will assume that you have already thought it through and now you need to know how to get over someone you love.

Getting your ex out of your mind can be tricky, but it is possible. A lot of amateurs in giving out relationship advice will tell you to focus on all of the bad stuff your ex did. The thinking here is that hating them will erase them from your memory, but the opposite is true. It will only amplify their memory and it’s not fair to your ex.

A better way is to forgive your ex for all of the bad stuff they may have done.
This will take away any of the power they still seem to have over you. It will also allow you to start moving forward with your own life, which takes us to the next step.

While you won’t be able to completely erase the memory of your ex from your mind, you can overpower it for a while. The way to do this is to go out and life your life to the fullest extent possible. The more things you have to occupy your time, and occupy your mind, the less space there will be for you to think about your former partner.

Finally, when it comes to how to get over someone you love you need to be realistic. It isn’t about forgetting about them 100%. After all, if you had good memories together, you should be able to look back on those in the future. But, you need to be able to move forward, so it’s important to get them out of your mind, especially right after the break up. Then, after a bit of time goes by you can start to think about them in a healthy, well-adjusted manner; without it making you feel upset.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

It isn’t the end of the world and it isn’t even close. Even though it hurts, it isn’t going to kill you.

This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that “my boyfriend dumped me” doesn’t mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that “my boyfriend dumped me” isn’t going to be easy but it also isn’t going to be impossible.

You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it.

If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesn’t mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so don’t worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that “my boyfriend dumped me.”

Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but aren’t following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you don’t want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.

You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation.

Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another person’s perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other person’s perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.

While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself.

Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have and do something positive with it.

The end result will be a happier you.

Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because “my boyfriend dumped me” and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

It is an understandable question to ask.

Common sense tells you that you need to move on. Most of your closest friends are hoping that you would. Your ex most likely is wishing that you could move on as well. So why is it that you have to keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?”

When you are asking, “Why do I want my ex back?” consider what has just happened.

You were in a love relationship of some kind, may be a marriage. It may have lasted a long time or only a short time but in either case, you had a lot invested in it. It is hard to let go of things and ideas that you may have been really attached to.

Most people do not enter into relationships lightly.

They go into them hoping for something that will last a long time and just want love. You have dreams of the way that things could be. You have an idea of the way things should be. For some reason it doesn’t happen. The bubble bursts on your idea and then you are left hanging on. It made such good and almost perfect sense at the time and then it is gone. You have to adjust to the idea that what you saw isn’t there anymore if it was at all.

Was it love or just the idea of being in love? The lines get so confusing sometimes. Was the love ever there? It is very likely that it was at one point. The only problem was that it wasn’t permanent. The two of you became incredibly important parts of each other. You get used to having certain things or people attached to you and when they are gone your mind may have trouble adjusting.

There are those who have lost limbs who still feel a phantom itch in the appendage that is now gone. There are still brain cells that are telling you that what isn’t there itches and there isn’t a thing you can do about it unless you retrain your brain.

The same thing is true for those who were intimately attached to someone, whether it was romantic or platonic in nature. If those people are removed for some reason, those parts of your brain that had grown accustomed to that loved one being there will have to adjust. While your brain is adjusting to the change, you are left thinking about them almost against your will.

If you are frustrated because you keep asking yourself, “Why do I want my ex back?” don’t get too distraught over it. It may help you to get some advice on how to get over a relationship from someone who has been there or who understands and has helped others. It is only natural that you will have trouble with it and “want my ex back.” Give it some time, get some help, and get distracted and in time you will no longer be asking, “Why do I want my ex back?”

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

Become secure in yourself. If you want to have a relationship that is secure, then try being more secure. If you need therapy then get it. Find ways to feel good about yourself and expect nothing but the best. If this new relationship is going to be grounded, it will need someone to be grounded in. Don’t expect it to be the new person. Don’t look for security in the new love. Look for it in yourself. Not only will this help you in the way you look and feel about yourself, it will help you look more attractive to others.

Responsibility should be shared. In many failed relationships most of the work is done by only one person. A good and solid relationship takes two people putting in equal effort. If both people are working towards the relationship’s success then it will most likely endure. Look for and expect a 50-50 split in the load shared. This may mean more work from you and it may mean holding your new partner to a higher standard. In either case it is well worth it. If someone isn’t working in it, you have to question just how important it is to them. If both don’t see the value then there might not be much to work for.

Learn to communicate better and more lovingly. Communication break down is often one of the symptoms and sometimes the cause of a failed relationship. It could mean you learning to talk more or less. Train yourself to listen more. Ask for your new love’s opinions on things and don’t dominate discussions. Don’t allow them to dominate your discussions either. You have a voice, use it to voice your concerns and feelings. A key to learning how to communicate better is in training ourselves to respond better. Does your initial response sound harsh or defensive? Your tone and word choice can make situations much worse than they need to be.

The key to having a successful break up recovery is to come out of it better, stronger, and smarter becoming more prepared for the next relationship. What will make the difference between success and failure is what you bring into the relationship and how you come into it.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here