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    When it seems like your story book romance has had an unhappy ending and the one you love has left, you may need some advice for a broken heart. You may not feel like it will ever heal and that the grief you feel is unbearable, but be sure that this is something that will go away. Healing a broken heart can take time and effort on your part, but there are some things that can be done and you can do it turning this sad story of loss and failure into a success story. Here are some advice that will help that happen.

    Give yourself a chance to mourn or be angry. You need a chance to feel the pain of losing the one you love. There is nothing at all wrong with allowing yourself a chance to feel this way. It is part of the way we are built. We are made with emotions that are helpful and by holding them back or ignoring them, you are only doing yourself harm and missing out on the human experience. The thing that you have to do is to limit that time. You can’t spend your life feeling that way, you will have to move on. Give yourself permission to feel this way for a few days, a week, or maybe a little longer and then get about the business of living.

    Let go. If there are some things that you need to forgive yourself for, then do it. Don’t let it hang over your head. If there are some unresolved issues from the past relationship, then you need to address them. If there is an issue of forgiving the one that left, then go ahead and do it. Don’t wait for them to come asking for it because it won’t happen. Just let go of it. You can’t embrace tomorrow if you are too busy holding yesterday.

    Don’t go back. There is no benefit to living in the past. You have today and tomorrow and that is all that matters. If you spend your time dwelling on yesterday you very well could be missing out on opportunities that will make your future much brighter than you ever could have imagined. Today has plenty to offer you. Take advantage of it. Spend each day looking for the good things and let the past stay behind you.

    Take this as an opportunity to improve something about yourself. Use this as a learning experience. Don’t let it be a negative lesson, though. Try to find a positive thing that you can learn. What would you do differently or better if you had it to do all over again? What are some things you wish you had done better? If you had it to do all over again, what would you do differently? What would have made that relationship better? So often we come out of relationships feeling depressed and having taken a hit to our self-esteem. Do things that will help improve self-esteem. Make yourself better.

    A break up is the end of a story in a way, but it is better considered the end of a chapter, not the book. The best advice there is for a broken heart is to take the broken and hurting pieces of your life and concentrate on making the rest of your life’s story a success and give this tragedy a happy ending.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    April 20th, 2010RobBroken Heart, Clean Breakups, Other Stuff

    Breakups happen - watch for these things

    Breakups happen - watch for these things

    The cold hard truth: Couples break up all the time.

    Now that we got that out of the way, you may be wondering if your relationship is headed in the wrong direction. While you can’t always be sure until you’re told face-to-face, there are a few end of relationship breakup signals you should be aware of.

    The surest signals are changes in your mate’s behavioral patterns. A small change here or there probably doesn’t mean much. What you need to be aware of are big changes in habits and behavior. Do they all of a sudden start talking a lot more? Are they fidgety around you? Do they use stronger, harsher words than they used to?

    Emotional distancing is one of those things that’s hard to quantify, and even harder to explain properly. In essence, if you notice your mate isn’t as warm an affectionate as they used to be, or if they seem to be somewhere else even when you’re in the same room, that could be a sign of things coming to an end. You may recognize that the closeness is gone, but you’re not quite able to pinpoint why.

    Spending less time together is one of the classic end of relationship breakup signals. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to spend every minute of every day together. But if you used to go places together and “hang out” frequently, and now you’re lucky to see each other for an hour a day, that’s a strong indicator of trouble just around the corner.

    If there is an observable difference in how much you are arguing (more or less) that is another signal that your status as a couple is about ready to go through some changes. While you may welcome fewer arguments, it can be a symptom of a reduced desire to work things out.

    One of the trickier signs is if your partner starts being much more romantic than they ever were before. A lot of times this is done to cover up feelings of guilt. It should be noted that this guilt doesn’t always derive from having an affair, it can also stem from their thinking about leaving. Regardless, it can be a way of compensating, or it could be for good reasons.

    Now, it should be noted that any or all of these signals being present may not mean anything as far as your relationship is concerned. It could be a sign of other problems. Talk to your significant other, remaining calm as you do so, and try to figure out what the underlying problem is.

    Any one of these end of relationship breakup signals could mean the end of being together is near, or it may not mean anything at all. The best thing to do if you spot a potential problem is to look at other potential warning signs. If you start noticing a lot of your significant other’s actions are out of place, then it is probably time to confront your mate to find out how they’re feeling and what their thoughts about your relationship are.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    Ending A Relationship

    Ending A Relationship

    Ever since people starting coupling up, they have been splitting apart. The earliest writings we know of (both secular and religious) talk about how to handle couples breaking up. And even though it has been going on for millennia, dealing with ending a relationship is has not gotten an easier. Hearts get broken, people get hurt, and it can be painful and confusing at the same time. Here are some things for you to consider, to help you navigate a relationship that’s ending.

    The first thing you need to convince yourself of is that the past is the past. It is a common tactic to try to purposely erase the memory of your ex completely from your mind. But, trying to forget it means you are focusing on it. In other words, you are turning the past into the present. By doing that, you can be sure that you are dredging up old, painful memories and that you will feel miserable in the process

    As mentioned it’s not easy, in fact, it can be emotionally wrenching and one of the toughest things to face as you go through life. It may seem impossible now, but you must let things run their course. Give it some time. They say “time heals all wounds”, and though it’s difficult and you feel awful, the saying is true. Keep this in mind as you’re dealing with ending a relationship.

    Another thing you must do is establish firm ground rules, especially if you know there will be situations where you are likely to encounter one another; work is one such example. Your best bet is to keep things as platonic as possible at first. Sure, there were good times, but you don’t want to start talking about them immediately after the break up. You also want to avoid talking about the bad times, or whatever led to the breakup.

    When dealing with ending a relationship, you may want to do your best to avoid your ex, but don’t do this to the point of obsession. If you are trying too hard to avoid them, you are, in reality, giving them more power, and not dealing with your real feelings.

    By the same token, you need to understand that the relationship is over, at least for now. Don’t make the mistake of being overly friendly to show you are “back to normal”. It will only make you look foolish or phony. You may also want to get back together, but you just have to give this some time. If you try jumping back in too quickly, you run a high risk of alienating your ex even further.

    Perhaps you will never get back together, maybe you have no intentions of doing so, but it’s always a good idea to get along with other people. Following the tips above will leave the door open to the possibility of reconciling, or, at the very least, not having your blood boil every time you hear of or see your ex.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    If you are interested in saving a relationship go and buy The Magic Of Making Up now. This book is written by a happily married man who gives you cheerful down to earth practical advice on how to save your marriage or partnership. Just have a look at all the testimonials he has had to see that his advice works and fast.

    Whether you want to save your marriage or are talking about saving a long distance relationship, you need help. You could try marriage counseling or even doing a course like relationship rescue. But for most of us, we don’t want to air our dirty laundry in public; even if it is with someone who has heard it all before or at least something similar.

    We want to cure our relationship woes in private. How do I know? Why would there be shelves full of books on dealing with relationship problems if we were all ready to use counselors. There is a billion dollar industry involved in producing books, DVDs and courses on how to fix your own partnership issues.

    This would not exist if there weren’t loads of people willing to pay good money for these products. Unfortunately while there are some great books out there some of the material produced will do more harm than good. So you need to be careful what you read and whose advice you listen to.

    Men and women are wired differently. It is not just cultural but physical differences in our brain that we are trying to overcome when communicating with members of the opposite sex. On average women have a more developed hearing and language center in their brain which may explain why traditionally they make better communicators.

    Men are programmed to fight first and ask questions later. This again is a result of genetics and not a judgment on men. You can perhaps understand why it is difficult to discuss the problems you may be experiencing. But you have to learn how to communicate properly or you will either end up alone or even worse, incredibly lonely while still involved in a relationship.

    A great partnership means that you have to share common interests. You have to be able to trust each other and have the facility to discuss how you are feeling without being worried about retribution. You both have to be allowed to be honest even when what you are saying is not what the other person wants to hear. This is not the same as you have the right to hurt one another. Wanting to inflict emotional pain on your partner is not one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship.

    The good news is that you can learn how to do all these so long as you have a good teacher and they don’t come much better than Mr T W Jackson. Saving a relationship will be easy once you get his book. What are you waiting for?

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    It is normal to have some doubts about your relationship.

    Many will feel these doubts as their relationship continues to grow; While they know that their boyfriend is interested, they will question whether or not their boyfriend still loves them.

    If you find yourself asking ‘Does my boyfriend still love me?’, there are a few simple signals that you can look for. These 4 positive signals will give you a better idea of your beau’s feelings toward you.

    He Cares about your Emotions

    Does your boyfriend constantly ask you about your emotions? If you find that our boyfriend asks you if you are ok, or if you are upset, you can know that they still love you. This shows that your boyfriend is interested in your emotions, and your emotional well-being. If they didn’t love you, they would not be interested in your emotions or feelings.

    He Buys you Gifts

    Does your boyfriend surprise you with small gifts? Is he paying attention to the things that you want, or the things that you like, and getting them for you? This can be a clear signal for you, highlighting how your boyfriend feels about you. If your boyfriend is buying you gifts, you can be sure that he still loves you.

    He Hates Break-Up Talk

    You may be questioning the emotions of your boyfriend because of talks that you may have had. If you and your boyfriend have talked about breaking up, it can be easy to feel as though they do not love you.

    You need to look into the nuances of your conversation to understand how you should take the conversation. Does the conversation topic bother your boyfriend? If he doesn’t like thinking about the idea of breaking up with you, he still loves you.

    He’s Planning for the Future

    It can be easy to question the strength of your relationship. It is normal to wonder about your boyfriend and whether or not he still loves you. One of the easiest ways to calm these fears is to notice when your boyfriend includes you in his future. If your boyfriend is planning his future and includes you in these future plans, you know that he loves you. He would not think about you and consider you in his future plans if he did not love you.

    These 4 signals will all be able to give you a good indication of your significant others emotions. If you want to fully understand these emotions, however, you need to talk to your soul mate. Have a serious talk with them about their feelings and about your relationship. When you find these four positive signals and have a positive talk with your boyfriend, you will feel as good about your relationship as possible.

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    November 22nd, 2009RobClean Breakups, Relationship In Crisis

    If you’re struggling to keep your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from falling apart you will need guy advice on healing a relationship.  You may want to talk to your buddies, but the truth is they probably don’t know any more than you do.  Instead read this article for some good advice on repairing your broken relationship.

    There are two phrases that should be the building blocks to repairing your relationship: “I’m sorry” and/or “I was wrong”.  Neither one will mean a thing if they aren’t sincere.  The first thing you have to do to heal your relationship is to be a man and own up to your part in the problems.

    Many men seem to think that apologizing is a sign of weakness.  Actually nothing could be further from the truth.  If you think about it, one of the hardest things you will ever do is to admit you were wrong and that you caused someone else’s pain, especially someone you love.  That is a hard thing to do.  So apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of being a man and being strong.

    In some ways it might seem easier to just bury your feelings and don’t admit that you were wrong or that you are in pain.  Again, a very ‘manly’ thing to do.  But is it?  While that might be the first thing many men will do, it’s not the easiest in the long run.  If you bury those feelings you will never truly be free of them.  They will jump up and haunt you when you least expect it.  No matter how painful it is you need to face them and get over them once and for all.  That’s the only real way you can have peace for the rest of your life.

    So if you want to heal your relationship you need to honestly access your part in the breakdown of the relationship.  Were you inattentive, did you take your wife for granted, did you stop making her feel special and loved?

    There’s a seen in the movie “The Breakup” where Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are fighting.  She had just put in a long day at work and hosted a dinner party and wanted his help to clean up.  She said to him ” I want you to want to do the dishes” and, of course, his response was “Why would I want to help you do the dishes”?  A valid question.  Sort of.

    I doubt that character really thought she wanted him to want to do the dishes.  What she really wanted was for him to understand that she was tired and wanted to relax too.  She wanted him to show his appreciation of all she does by helping her and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders.

    Are you guilty of pretending to be ‘stupid’.  Pretending like you don’t really know what your wife wants?  Many men fall into that trap, just like in the movie.  They know what their wife is trying to say, they just choose to pretend like they don’t because it seems easier than actually helping.  It’s selfish.  And it will lead to long term problems. This all goes back to what I was talking about above: making your wife feel appreciated.

    The good news is that if you’ve made some mistakes in the past you can change and become a better man.  You can become the kind of man that you can be proud of and that she can love and respect.  Use this guy advice on healing a relationship as a starting point and you can not only save your relationship but improve it too.

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