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    April 14th, 2010RobBroken Heart, Things To Do

    Get out and don't be alone!

    Get out and don't be alone!

    To be blunt, breaking up sucks! And it’s not just the feelings of loneliness that make it a lousy experience. Nasty things like guilt, pain, despair, and self-loathing can all seem to rear their ugly heads at the same time. Each of these emotions can derive from, or be the cause of, depression after a break up. The following thoughts will help you through it, and have you coming out the other side a new and improved you.

    It is vital to realize that post-relationship depression is a very real problem. While that may not be a medical diagnosis, you must take it seriously, seeking professional help if needed.

    Chances are your friends will try to cheer you up. But, let’s face it, sometimes the things they say after a break up only make it worse. However, they can be a great resource to recovering from heartbreak, so be sure to take them up on any offers to help; assuming they fit in with your plans.

    The main thing you need to do at this point is focus on taking care of yourself. You may not feel like eating, talking to anyone, or even taking care of basic hygiene. But you have to find a way to do it. Again, see a professional if these things start happening.

    Though you may feel like it now, don’t try to erase your ex completely from your mind. It’s impossible to do so, and by trying to forget, you will actually be remembering more. You may want to get right back into another relationship to forget your ex (or to fill the void that has been left by their leaving). You just have to give it time. Do your best to avoid harmful rebound relationships, at all costs, as they can lead to a much worse situation.

    One thing that really helps is to be around people. It may be difficult to be around friends and family that offer advice without understanding what you’re really going through. The trick is to be social without having to deal with people that know you, your ex, or your situation. That’s why volunteering for charities outside of your home is such a great idea. You don’t have to worry about the excess emotional baggage, and you are getting rid of your depression after a break up and helping others at the same time.

    While being around other people can work wonders, it’s okay to enjoy your own company, too. Now is the ideal time to do things you have always wanted to do. Just be careful not to do things you associate with being a couple, at least at first.

    A lot of depression after a break up stems from having too much extra time. How you use that time is key to your emotional well-being. You can use this time to make yourself more miserable, or you can use it to become a better, stronger, happier person. Admittedly, the latter choice isn’t always easy, but it is possible…the choice is yours!

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    April 12th, 2010RobBroken Heart, Relationship In Crisis

    How To Start A Fresh, New Day

    How To Start A Fresh, New Day

    There is nothing wrong with fixing a broken relationship, but some ways of doing so are better than others. We’ll take a look at what you can do, and what you should avoid, to patch things up. Salvaging your current relationship, or getting back together will require a lot of effort. No matter what Hollywood likes to tell you, long-lasting relationships don’t magically happen.

    Before you even begin you have to ask yourself why you want it to be fixed? if you are doing it because you know “it will be different this time”, then it may be a good idea to re-think your position

    Many couples split because of one thing: distrust. Fixing a broken relationship requires honesty from this point forward. You have to be honest about who you are, who your mate is and what being together means to you. One point related to honesty is that you can’t change other people. You can change yourself, but don’t fool yourself thinking things will be better after you change your significant other.

    Be careful that you don’t lay it on too thick. You may want to show how enthusiastic you are about mending things, but be careful that you don’t cross the line into overdoing it. Most people don’t respond well to being overwhelmed, and are likely to pull back the more you push. Even if that isn’t your intention, you have to think about how you’re being perceived. Understand that no matter how much you want to fix things, it takes two people to make it work. If your ex isn’t ready to mend things, you have to be ready to give them more time and space.

    Now that you understand what to avoid, you will need an action plan before you can start fixing a broken relationship. Here are the three steps you need to take to set things right, and to keep them that way.

    Identify: Before you can do anything, you need to know what’s wrong. Take a look at the areas in your relationship that you would like to be better. This could be you, your mate, or the relationship itself. While you can only change yourself, being aware

    Fix: Once you know where improvement is needed, it’s time to solve the problem. This may require any different number of approaches. Chances are you won’t get it right the first time, but keep trying until you are able to resolve the issue that’s putting a strain on your relationship.

    Maintain: No relationship is perfect. Be on constant alert for potential problem spots and take care of them as soon as possible. It is much easier to fix things sooner rather than later. Things will always pop up that need your and your better half’s attention.

    You can see that fixing a broken relationship may not always be the best thing to do, it’s never that easy, but if you want to do it, it is possible to be a happier couple. Just follow the tips mentioned above and you will see how good things can be.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    April 10th, 2010RobBroken Heart, Relationship In Crisis

    You may have to try a little tenderness

    You may have to try a little tenderness

    To get lover back you may have to try a little tenderness if the relationship ended with an explosion. Maybe the end of the marriage or the relationship resulted in a lot of hurt feelings and fights that resulted in some emotional pain. It could be there was something tragic that happened that caused the breakup. There may have been some wrong committed that caused humiliation for either party. Whatever the case, feelings were and probably still are hurt and if you want to get lover back, you will have to work gently and try to help heal the wounds that are there.

    To get lover back you may have to take a close look at both yourself and them. There may be some things about you and the way that you are likely to handle the situation that could make matters worse. It could be things that you don’t realize. There could also be some things that the one you love are struggling with that may have made them a little fragile. Even though they may not seem like big deals to you, for some reason they are to them.

    Before you make any attempts at reconciliation, take a good look at yourself. It may mean that you have to go seek not only relationship advice but trying to get help on finding areas for improvement that you have. You have to be open to criticisms and accept that they may be right. You have to ask someone, “What are the best things for me to work on so that I can get ex back?” Be ready for any reaction you might get. Will it bother you to hear those things? Maybe, but it will do you good and will help you to get lover back. Take the advice seriously and learn to be more sensitive.

    Whatever the person you love may be feeling, it is real to them. Understand that they have something that is deeply troubling them and come to them softly and tenderly. When they get upset, don’t react. Fighting back or getting emotional won’t do anything to help you get ex back. It will only drive you apart. You have to learn how to nurture them and help them heal. You will also have to give them the time and space that they need. The tenderest touch that someone can get isn’t physical at all. It comes with a sense that you understand and that you are there for them.

    There is a time for knocking some sense into someone but there is also a time for showing some tenderness and compassion. Know when those moments are and try to find the best way to act in them. True love will often require you to act and respond to things that don’t seem natural to you. If the relationship is important, you will make those adjustments. Tenderness may not come to you naturally but one way or another, you will probably have to learn how if you want to get lover back.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    If you are interested in saving a relationship go and buy The Magic Of Making Up now. This book is written by a happily married man who gives you cheerful down to earth practical advice on how to save your marriage or partnership. Just have a look at all the testimonials he has had to see that his advice works and fast.

    Whether you want to save your marriage or are talking about saving a long distance relationship, you need help. You could try marriage counseling or even doing a course like relationship rescue. But for most of us, we don’t want to air our dirty laundry in public; even if it is with someone who has heard it all before or at least something similar.

    We want to cure our relationship woes in private. How do I know? Why would there be shelves full of books on dealing with relationship problems if we were all ready to use counselors. There is a billion dollar industry involved in producing books, DVDs and courses on how to fix your own partnership issues.

    This would not exist if there weren’t loads of people willing to pay good money for these products. Unfortunately while there are some great books out there some of the material produced will do more harm than good. So you need to be careful what you read and whose advice you listen to.

    Men and women are wired differently. It is not just cultural but physical differences in our brain that we are trying to overcome when communicating with members of the opposite sex. On average women have a more developed hearing and language center in their brain which may explain why traditionally they make better communicators.

    Men are programmed to fight first and ask questions later. This again is a result of genetics and not a judgment on men. You can perhaps understand why it is difficult to discuss the problems you may be experiencing. But you have to learn how to communicate properly or you will either end up alone or even worse, incredibly lonely while still involved in a relationship.

    A great partnership means that you have to share common interests. You have to be able to trust each other and have the facility to discuss how you are feeling without being worried about retribution. You both have to be allowed to be honest even when what you are saying is not what the other person wants to hear. This is not the same as you have the right to hurt one another. Wanting to inflict emotional pain on your partner is not one of the hallmarks of a successful relationship.

    The good news is that you can learn how to do all these so long as you have a good teacher and they don’t come much better than Mr T W Jackson. Saving a relationship will be easy once you get his book. What are you waiting for?

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    February 27th, 2010RobBroken Heart, Relationships

    If you have the question of “how can I tell if my boyfriend really loves me” in your mind, there is no doubt you have a tinge of apprehension and uncertainty about his love. Trust me when I tell you; you’re not alone with your doubts. Many girls have similar doubts, because the signals they are getting from their boyfriends, just aren’t strong enough to really answer the all important question; “Does he really love me?”

    I also want you to realize that it may well not be your fault that these doubts enter into your mind. Simply because your significant other may belong, to that ‘herd’, of men who have extreme difficulty in showing affection. Even when they are deeply in love, it is almost impossible for them to convey it openly or even overtly to you.

    When you are with him, you may have a feeling that everything is all right. But once you are out of his sight, it looks as if he has completely forgotten your existence. But once these “doubts” enter into your thoughts, they can quickly become an obsession and consume you. And the end result can destroy your relationship; with someone who does love you. Therefore it’s important for you to learn the skills of reading and interpreting your lovers signs; of his true love for you. The following are a few tips that will enable you to help you to resolve the doubts you have been experiencing

    - When you are having a conversation with him, you should maintain eye contact. If he is serious about you and the conversation, he will also look directly into your eyes. You will quickly learn he’s not being distracted by the other things going on around you both and it’s a sure sign of his true feelings for you.

    - If your boyfriend puts your priorities before his, you can pretty well conclude that you are special to him and he cares deeply for you.

    - Another sign you can look for if he is willing to discuss his ‘personal life’ openly with you or even obliquely. This shows that he holds you in very high esteem and he believes you will give your moral support and advice on solving the issues. Yes, he will have his own ideas to sort these issues out, he will respect your thoughts and perhaps implement your suggestions. And when a man does that you can bet, your are more than just a girlfriend.

    - As you may know, a great many men have trouble remembering those “special days.” A sure sign of true feeling for you is when he will try hard to remember those special days such as your birthday, the anniversary of your first meeting with him, etc. and present you with gifts that are unique. These gifts may be inexpensive but they will speak volumes of his love towards you.

    If you observe that the behavior of your boy friend conforms to the above clues, you can conclude that he really loves you, though he is not the type who expresses it openly. These signs provide an answer to your question, “how can I tell if my boyfriend really loves me?”.

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    It is normal to have some doubts about your relationship.

    Many will feel these doubts as their relationship continues to grow; While they know that their boyfriend is interested, they will question whether or not their boyfriend still loves them.

    If you find yourself asking ‘Does my boyfriend still love me?’, there are a few simple signals that you can look for. These 4 positive signals will give you a better idea of your beau’s feelings toward you.

    He Cares about your Emotions

    Does your boyfriend constantly ask you about your emotions? If you find that our boyfriend asks you if you are ok, or if you are upset, you can know that they still love you. This shows that your boyfriend is interested in your emotions, and your emotional well-being. If they didn’t love you, they would not be interested in your emotions or feelings.

    He Buys you Gifts

    Does your boyfriend surprise you with small gifts? Is he paying attention to the things that you want, or the things that you like, and getting them for you? This can be a clear signal for you, highlighting how your boyfriend feels about you. If your boyfriend is buying you gifts, you can be sure that he still loves you.

    He Hates Break-Up Talk

    You may be questioning the emotions of your boyfriend because of talks that you may have had. If you and your boyfriend have talked about breaking up, it can be easy to feel as though they do not love you.

    You need to look into the nuances of your conversation to understand how you should take the conversation. Does the conversation topic bother your boyfriend? If he doesn’t like thinking about the idea of breaking up with you, he still loves you.

    He’s Planning for the Future

    It can be easy to question the strength of your relationship. It is normal to wonder about your boyfriend and whether or not he still loves you. One of the easiest ways to calm these fears is to notice when your boyfriend includes you in his future. If your boyfriend is planning his future and includes you in these future plans, you know that he loves you. He would not think about you and consider you in his future plans if he did not love you.

    These 4 signals will all be able to give you a good indication of your significant others emotions. If you want to fully understand these emotions, however, you need to talk to your soul mate. Have a serious talk with them about their feelings and about your relationship. When you find these four positive signals and have a positive talk with your boyfriend, you will feel as good about your relationship as possible.

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