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    If you’ve been fretting over the question ” Will my wife ever love me again?”, you are definitely not alone. Some men feel trapped in a loveless marriage. Others have already split from their wives but miss them terribly and want things to go back to the way they used to be. Whatever the situation, it is possible to bring back the love you once shared with effort, persistence, patience and time.

    First of all, before answering the question of “will my wife ever love me again”, answer this question: Has she told you that she doesn’t love you anymore. If she hasn’t told you this and she hasn’t left you, then chances are she still does love you but is going through some other issues that are making her cold or distant. This is a different case than loss of love and needs to be treated differently.

    But if you are sure that your wife doesn’t love you, and you’re sure you want her love back, there are several things you can do that may help you with this. First of all, you have to admit that your current situation didn’t happen overnight. This is usually a very slow process that starts when communication breaks down and just continues getting worse. At some point, you will have to work on communicating again. This is what will keep your marriage and love alive. But it might not be the first step you take.

    For example, if your wife has insisted that she just needs some time or space, then do not start going on about how you need to start communicating more. She will not accept that at this point in time. Instead, give her the space she needs right now. Don’t ask her how much time she needs or give her a “deadline”. Let her know that you are willing to accept this distance for now. This is an important step for many reasons.

    First of all, it shows her that you are strong enough to let her go and go on without her for a while. Second, it gives her the chance to see if she misses your constant presence. Remember that you can give her space even if you are living under the same roof. Treat her as if she is a colleague at work. Be cordial and friendly, but not intimate. This distance works especially well if you have been begging, clingy, or demanding until this point.

    That type of behavior tends to push people away even further. But now by doing the opposite, she can really compare what it is like to have you there for her and what it’s like for you to be absent. This in itself is very powerful. During your time “off”, make sure that you take care of yourself, eat well, exercise if possible, get enough sleep (even if it’s on the couch), and take time to go out with your friends, spend more quality time with the kids, or just spend some time alone.

    When you’ve gone through this phase, you can start with methods that will open up communication between the two of you and bring a resounding Yes! to the question of “Will my wife ever love me again”?

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    April 5th, 2010RobRelationship In Crisis

    Start the romance over

    Start the romance over

    If you find yourself asking the question “how can I make him fall in love with me again?”, you are already in a good position to turn the tables to where they were before, or maybe to even make your relationship stronger than it ever was.

    Relationships take work and as the days, weeks, months, and even years roll on, many tend to slack off on their responsibilities when it comes to keeping their end of the bargain in a relationship. No matter who decided to end your relationship, or even if it was a mutual decision, it is probable that both of you played a little role in the “slacking”. If you’re asking yourself “can I make him fall in love with me again,” you have probably already realized this and are now ready to make up for lost time.

    The first thing you need to do in order to get your guy’s love back is to take care of yourself, if you’re not already doing so. Remove “him” as the first thought in your mind and replace that with yourself. Taking care of yourself means eating right, getting some exercise, taking the time to dress in flattering clothes that express your personality, going out with friends, joining some activities that you enjoy, etc.

    This also means that you should not be contacting your guy in any way right now. This is your time to turn yourself back into an attractive magnet that will win back his love. This might also be the hardest part in the whole process. Even if you don’t feel like going out with friends or putting on make-up, or whatever you need to do to look good and feel better about yourself, push yourself to “fake it ’til you make it.”

    You’ll soon find that you are no longer faking it. Your new positive lifestyle will be a part of you and you will be getting back to the person your man fell in love with in the first place. Maintaining a distance from his will also help to peak his curiosity, especially if you’ve been desperately trying to hang on to him until now.

    Once you’re at a stage where you feel better about yourself and more confident, you can consider arranging a meeting with your guy. Make it something really simple like coffee. You don’t want to commit to something to long and complicated in the beginning. If he declines the invitation, don’t fret. Just wait a few weeks or a month or so and ask again. If he accepts, meet him and talk about easy stuff.

    There’s no need to get back into your old relationship battles or discuss anything at all related to what you once had. Keep your meeting short and you must be the first one to leave. Say that you have an appointment or another engagement and that it was wonderful to see him again. Those are the first two steps in the “How Can I Make Him Fall In Love With Me Again” plan.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    If you want a happy marriage, search for the glue that will bind you together. That is advice given through the generations and like a lot of comments from older people, it is worth listening to.

    Every relationship is different, as unique as the two people involved in it. Your mutual attraction, shared memories and lifestyle will help to keep you together and prevent you becoming yet another statistic. But you cannot afford to just sit back and assume that you will always be happy. Happy marriages take work. Couples need to realize that they must spend time on their relationship as well as time apart in order to stand the best chance of staying together.

    People often make the mistake of putting their kids first all the time. While your children are important, the relationship between you their parents is equally so. What better example can you set your children than to have them growing up in a home where everyone is valued and their contribution to family life is appreciated. You want your kids to grow up knowing how to treat other people properly. They learn from example so be sure that the example you are giving them is the one you want them to follow.

    In a happy relationship both parties know that the other person will always be there for them. This doesn’t mean that they will always take their side in an argument but that they will not be abusive or disparaging or disrespectful. You need to develop good listening skills – God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. You need to learn to really listen to your partner and try to appreciate what they are saying to you. Poor communication does not result in you celebrating forty or fifty years of married bliss.

    Spend time together – this seems like an obvious one but if you look back over the last month how much time have you two actually spent alone together. Staring at the TV screen every evening doesn’t count. If you have to put a time in the diary but make sure that you spend at least one evening every two weeks together enjoying quality time.

    If your intimate relationship needs some work, don’t ignore it. Mutual attraction and lust played a huge part in you getting together in the first place. It is completely natural for the overwhelming urge to jump on each other to wear off but you should still find each other attractive. The good news is that the more you make love, the more your body will want it. Making love releases feel good chemicals and thus your body craves these good feelings. Even if you have to make a huge effort to get into the mood try and soon you may just find that it doesn’t take that much effort anymore!

    Finding the right partner to spend the rest of your life with is difficult but it is easy compared to keeping your marriage on the right track. Don’t put your head in the sand. Read books like the Magic of Making Up and apply some of their teachings. You want a happy marriage? Search and apply the techniques that work for other people and you can be as happy as you wish.

    This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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    March 14th, 2010RobRelationship In Crisis

    You are in a relationship and you are finding things quite confusing. You could be feeling like the relationship has run its course, or that you are not being honest with your self. You are merely pretending to be happy, or maybe you are afraid over what the next step will be. These signs of a troubled relationship can plague the person and put strain on a possibly damaged relationship. One of the more common feelings is guilt over lying and hiding ones true feelings over the relationship and its status. There was a great deal of love in the relationship, but now there are a lot of mixed feelings and factors that are contributing to the mixed feelings that one is feeling.

    When you have begun to consider your troubled relationship, it is important to brainstorm what sort of things that you want and what you do not want in your relationship. The latter can include not wanting to be cheated on, abused, and ignored and so on. When it comes to items that you want to have happen, these can include wanting to grow and develop emotionally. One can want for excitement and romance in the relationship. Sometimes one wants intellectual and spiritual stimulation, including discussions and attending outside meetings and events.

    Once you have a list of your wants and desires, you need to go through them and identify those which you truly want and do not want. You need to figure out what sort of situation you are in and whether or not it will continue on its track. Observe your partner and try and figure out if they are capable of growth and doing their part to help turn your troubled relationship around. They need to be able to contribute to the repair of the relationship and move it forward.

    If things are truly bad, then you need to step back and see things with a clear head. This may simply involve separating temporarily, so that you and your partner can take the time alone to evaluate the situation without distraction. Without having to live together and deal with all of the stresses of being together, both of you will have a clearer head which will provide the basis for a true evaluation of the situation.

    What you may find is that the relationship is such that you two cannot be together and that you need to end the relationship. Some relationships are not meant to be, and that should not discourage you. There will be someone for you. If you do find that you and your significant other are capable of making things work in your troubled relationship, then make sure that you and your partner are open and communicative. Without communication, it will be more difficult.

    A troubled relationship does not necessarily mean that the end is near. What it does mean is that you and your partner need to take the steps to work things out and move the relationship forward, whether that is towards its end or continuation.

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    March 11th, 2010RobRelationship In Crisis

    If you are wanting to keep a marriage or relationship afloat and aren’t willing to give up on it then you may need some relationship rescue. There are many books about it and lots of advice given from friends and counselors. There are marriage therapists to go to for counseling but most everyone will end up saying the same things and will not give you sound advice to take action on.

    The best things that you can do in any relationship rescue is to aim at being honest and accept one another. Doing both of these may be difficult if you aren’t willing to accept the fact that much of the blame in the difficulties of the relationship is shared. Own up to your own flaws and accept that there may be some truth to the complaints that your significant other has of you. If you want the other party in your relationship to change things you must realize there are probably things that you need to change as well. If you want them to keep an open mind about things that you wish for them to work on then you must do the same.

    True love will require compromise many times. You must be able to bend your will and give up some things to make the relationship work. If there is going to be a relationship rescue taking place. Both parties need to take a hard look at themselves and see what things they need to give up and work on to be more compatible.

    The largest part of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it may be a false reality. Something may seem like the worst situation in the world but then, after a change in perspective, it may not seem all that bad at all. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In relationships this is especially true. Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship management. Look closely at the situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work or, worse yet, a bum. Also ask why certain things are being done instead of jumping to conclusions.

    Talk through things and when things are settled, drop them and move on. Much of the problems that relationships face is due to the fact that there is someone in the relationship, or maybe both in the relationship, who hold on to grudges. Don’t let that happen. If there were things that happened in the past that have been dealt with, then let them go. When you do have discussions or arguments don’t bring up the past. Deal with the present. Don’t don’t fight battles more than once.

    If you are truly willing to see your relationships rescue, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship

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    In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently.

    If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people’s ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Many marriages have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren’t married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.

    There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoidedintimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.

    What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.

    Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.

    Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren’t anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.

    When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why the react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.

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