Do you really know why you broke up?

Many people, usually half of every couple, find themselves lost as they examine and re-examine their relationship, looking deep into the events that led up to their breakup, trying to make sense of it all.

The truth is that breakups hurt at least one person and sometimes both of you will feel the sting of the breakup because of the events that led up to your breaking up.

Breakups suck, really.

Breakups hurt and a lot of the time other family members and friends get caught in the breakup, being forced (or feeling forced) to pick a side and be a stronger friend or family member for one rather than the other.

And that sucks too.

It doesn’t matter (in the grand scheme of things) why you broke up, just that through the actions and/or unforgiving nature of the event and the couple that is breaking up that their future is forever changed and becomes a “what if” for the rest of their lives.

“What if’s” really suck.

Take some time, look back with nothing but love and get some advice. Maybe you’ll figure out where everything went horribly wrong and if you can’t make it right and get back together, then at least it will be a life lesson learned so that it doesn’t not happen again.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

Getting back together

You know that things can be made to work and you are now trying to figure out “how to get back my ex?” Breakups are not irreparable events which are the absolute end of things. There are things that you can learn and use to try an get your ex back, but it will take work and time. Here are five such things to know about.

First, you have to let go of all of the pain and move on.

This is a difficult step, but you should instead try and think about the fact that letting go will bring them closer to you. This is not to say that you should shut everything out. You need to experience these feelings in order to move on, but you cannot spend too much time on them, otherwise you will hinder your own progress. Tell yourself that moving on is how to get my ex back and it will be easier to do so.

Once you have left the feelings behind you, you should figure out why it happened. What you should be thinking is that how to get back my ex involves knowing why we broke up. If there is a problem behind the breakup, then knowing of it will lead to fixing it. Once that happens, you can get them one step closer to being back with you.

An important step in the healing process is to extend each other a break.

Separation is required in order to get back to a point where the two of you can move on and do what is needed to set things right. Those who spend time with no contact among each other are most likely to get past the breakup and get back together.

You should also spend the time to call upon the support of those around you.

Ask others what they think in terms of “how to get back my ex?” This can include your parents, siblings, friends and more. Not only can these individuals provide support for you as you experience the emotional turmoil of a break up, but they can also act as your calm head, your sensibility, and they can mediate things between you and your ex.

Once you each have your support networks, you should come back together.

A meet up is the final step in the process of getting back together. You should proceed slowly, first by emails and text messages. Keep your tone friendly, for any sign of moving forward too quickly can be detrimental. Enter into the meet up with a game plan, so that you do not get hurt. Prepare to suck it in and apologize for yourself, and not expect the same. The point is to rekindle the romance, and this is the step where you will see if it is possible to know “how to get back my ex.” Following these steps will make for the best chance, but be prepared to accept staying separated.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

[Photo by binababy12]

If you have recently experienced an unfortunate breakup, and you have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you are like stressed out and going through difficulties in your life right now. You are definitely not alone however, as there are many people in the world right now who are in the same situation as they have an ex boyfriend to get back as well.

Many people who go through a relationship break up that was unexpected will feel desperate because they have an ex boyfriend to get back. Now is the chance to pull yourself together, keep your emotions in check and work through the initial stages of moving past the break up and eventually rekindling the relationship when the time is right.

If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, and you are wondering just what you need to do in order to achieve it, then you need to consider the following things.

- How does he feel about the relationship? Is he moving on, or does he want to rekindle things?

- What caused the break up in the first place, and can the things that caused the break up be rectified so that they do not occur again?

- What do you want from the relationship? Do you really want to get back together with your ex or are you simply acting out of desperation not to feel alone?

- Did you initiate the break up or did they? This will play an important role in determining how everybody feels about the situation after the fact.

If you caused the break up in some way, and you have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you may want to start things off with an apology. Let him know that you are sorry for what you did, and let him know that you are serious about rekindling things because you still care.

Once you have achieved this, you need to back off so that he can have some time to think about the situation. There is a lot that both of you are going to have to think about, and time and space is the only way that this is going to happen.

You need to make an honest effort to rekindle things without pushing too hard when you have an ex boyfriend to get back. It is not surprising that you want to push things and rush things, but if you cram yourself down his throat you will chase him away rather than talk him into rekindling things with you. It will take time and patience, sure, but if you really love him, then you should be prepared to go to great lengths to prove it. Be ready for a challenge, but if you are dedicated, you may be able to get your ex back once and for all.

Do you really want to get back together with ex?  You may have an instant reaction that “of course I want to get back together.”  But, you should do some soul searching before you answer this question.  There was a reason you broke up, and if this reason or reasons are not addressed, you will repeat the cycle.

If you get back together with ex, are you going to be really happy?  Or, will you wind up down the same road that got you here in the first place?

After you break up, you may be only thinking about the good times.  You’ll forget about all of the problems you had.  You’ll think about how lonely you are without him or her not how frustrated you used to get with them.

After a break up, you need to be brutally honest about what you want out of a relationship.  Think about both the good times and the bad times before you make any decisions.

Some relationships are not worth saving.  If you fought more than you loved, you might want to consider whether there might be a better fit with someone else.  Above all, a couple should make each other happy.  If you couldn’t do this with your ex, you might want to consider moving on.

That’s not to say that a relationship can’t be saved after a break up.  If you want to get back together after you’ve done some soul searching, that can be done.  The rest of this article will be devoted to getting back together once you’ve decided it’s worth it.

One thing that you need to keep in mind is that you don’t want to “stalk” your ex.  This is not just following him or her around.  It also means not repeatedly calling, emailing, or texting them.  Don’t stalk them on their social networking sites either.  All of these things make you seem desperate.

When you do talk, don’t plead or beg them to get back together with you.  Don’t present an aura that you have been “wrong” and you’ll do better in the future.

You may be beating yourself up about the things you did in the past.  But the past is the past.  Now, you want to move forward.

At the present time, the relationship is over.  You don’t have a time machine to go back and change things.  Now, you need to concentrate on the things you can do in the present.

Instead, back off and give your ex some space.  When you do talk, bring up the fun times you shared and the things you like about them.

Your ex may suggest meeting in a non threatening manner.  If he or she doesn’t, you can suggest it.  Perhaps you can go to Starbucks and have a coffee.  It might lead to a “real” date and then you’re back on your way to being a couple again.

That’s how to get back together with ex.

Are you looking for help to get back together with ex? Do not write the relationship off completely simply because he or she dumped you. If you really want to get back together with ex, you can get the results you seek with some hard work and understanding.

In relationships, people can be truly fickle. For example, in 75 percent of all relationships, the woman calls the relationship. More often than not however, they are also open to re-establishing things.

Breaking up may not have been a decision that was thought out well, meaning that your significant other may be willing to rekindle things if you give it enough time.

If you really want to get back together with ex, you need to prevent yourself from giving up, writing things off or responding badly to the situation at hand. Bad things happen, but there are resolutions and not every break up means the permanent end to the relationship.

Part of the process of learning how to get back together with ex is to figure out what it is that went wrong so that you can change those things and move on. If you do not fix these things, then the relationship is never going to be capable of being rekindled, or else the same bad things will happen again.

Was she bored in the relationship? Was he looking for more space? Find out what the problem was and find a way to change things. If you really want to get back together with ex, you need to show your ex that you are the person that he or she really wants in life.

One of the ways that you can figure out how to get back together with ex is to show your ex that you are in demand, that you are moving on and that you are satisfied with life rather than dwelling on the past. This will show your ex that you can be mature and happy, and it may just remind them how much they need and want you.

Go out and have some fun with your friends and show your ex that you can live without him or her, and you may just help them remember how much they want to be with you, which is a great way to learn how to get back together with ex.

When you are serious about wanting to get back together with ex, you need to realize that making things work is about doing the right things and rekindling the right feelings and emotions. There is a power shift that needs to occur, and you need to restore the balance in order to make things comfortable enough again that you can get back together with ex.

You can learn how to get back together with ex, you simply have to be patient and willing to listen to the right advice in order to make it happen.

Here’s an example of a breakup and makeup relationship.

Read where things go wrong and how the guy makes things right again.

Shari was busy one night and Tom went to a party alone.  It was stupid, but he started to make out with one of Shari’s friends there.  Shari, of course, heard about it and had a dramatic confrontation with Tom.

“I never want to see you again,” se said.  “I am so out of here.”

Tom’s devastated.  He knows he was wrong, but he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back.  He misses Shari.

The first thing Tom needs to do is sincerely apologize.  This is not just a quietly mumbled “I’m sorry” either.  He needs to realize what he did wrong, figure out why he did it, decide whether he will ever do it again, and most importantly, communicate all of this honestly to Shari.

At this point, Tom should stop.  The ball is now in Shari’s court.

Tom shouldn’t call Shari.  He shouldn’t email, text, or comment on her wall.  He shouldn’t send flowers or candy.

What he should do is let her make the next move.  She is 100 percent in control here.  If Tom goes out to score, he’s going to lose her.  If he wants to know how to win ex girlfriend back, he needs to be planning for the next step not focusing on the present.

At some point, Shari will initiate contact.  There are many pretexts for doing this.  For instance, she may be mad and want to exchange all personal property.  Or, she could be missing him and just want to talk.

At this point, Tom needs to make his move.  He needs to show her that he’s the one.

He should put the incident behind him.  Tom should only bring up what happened if she does first.

Otherwise, he should talk about the positive memories that they have had together.  He should bring up specific incidents that were special for the two of them.

For instance, he could say, “I was walking around downtown and I saw the restaurant we went to on our first date and I thought of you.”

If he keeps it casual, he can talk about missing her.  “I miss the way you laugh at my corny jokes,” is a good line.  Telling her that he can’t imagine life without her is a bad one.

If she’s receptive, and she probably will be (why else is she calling?) Tom should suggest a casual get together.  For instance, he should ask her to meet him for coffee or something similar.  A half hour mini-date might get things back on track for them.

If he plays it right, he will have found the right solution to the how to win ex girlfriend back dilemma.