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It is not an easy task for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.

However, here are a few tips that you can follow to have him back with you again. A lot of people don’t succeed in winning their ex back. It’s not really their fault. No one ever handed us an instruction book for relationships when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup… much less, how to get your ex back after a breakup… If you want your ex boyfriend back then these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight. You need to get rid of the negative thoughts that hinder clear thinking. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be stronger than you’ve been before.

Don’t let your emotional sadness and especially your depressed feelings keep you down. You can’t achieve a goal if you can’t keep your emotions in check and your mind clear. Negative thoughts are destructive behavior and will not help you now.

2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over. All the wishing in the world isn’t going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened. You can’t let your mind keep wandering into the past look towards changes and the future you want for the both of you if you can get back together.

Focus on what is going on now. If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn’t perfect you’re heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back. Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened. Think about this; the relationship didn’t get broke in a day. Don’t expect to be able to fix it in a day either.

3.Don’t pester your ex boyfriend. Guys just don’t like it when girls become obsessive about them. Especially ex boyfriends. You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while. Don’t continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him. Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake. He may begin to actually miss you. If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup. Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle. If you’ve picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy. When you look good on the outside, you’re going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside. By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy. When you’re confident and happy, you will project this image to others. You will become an object of desire to men. This includes your ex boyfriend.

5.Take it slow. If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you. Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4. He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you. Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you’ve become confident and happy will make him desire you. If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy. It will probably help to ensure that you don’t just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first. You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation. These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.

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When faced with a true, final breakup, it’s likely that you will also feel a physical pain: the broken heart.

Besides the true ache of lost love you may also feel:

• unrelenting sadness
• food has lost it’s flavor and loss of appetite
• your interest cannot be held for long on the things that once brought you joy and happiness
• listlessness and boredom
• inner peace with listening to depressing music (try anything by “The Smiths”) and reading depressing, sad poetry and novels but yet a lack of joy in your daily routine

There is no time like now to release your inner demons and look forward to another day.

As hard as the truth is, life does go on.

You need to find your path again, find your purpose again.

But take your time, you need to heal. You need to find yourself again, the one you were before you were in a couple.

Follow these three steps to regain your emotional and physical health again.

1 – STOP everything you are doing (after competing this article, of course) and get a blank piece of paper. On this paper you need to write down exactly how you are feeling about your breakup. Continue writing on this paper but let’s move to the third person point of view. Write down what has happened as if you were a spectator only. As if you are outside of yourself watching everything happen. Try to capture every action, every seen emotion, every step of the breaking up, even if your story starts days or weeks earlier in time.

2 – Plan a treat day for yourself. This day will be for yourself, a treat day of things that you have held off doing, for whatever reason, and you now have the time and a lack of someone holding you back. This might be a shopping day, a day of travel, a day of entertainment. Do this one day for yourself, with no other goal than to enjoy what was unavailable to you before. A makeover, haircut, pedicure, trip to the museum, travel to another town, you name it, this day is for you. Even if you can’t do this day immediately, you can plan for it to happen soon.

3 – Decide to be available for what life has next for you. The secret of life is that it holds many surprises and you have to be open, and capable, of accepting the new challenges that come your way. Giving up and just “letting things happen” can no longer be a viable alternative to making the decisions in your life, that will affect the rest of your life. You will have made the positive decision to meet the challenges in your life head on when you no longer shirk from responsibility. Stand up, dust yourself off and smile into the sun. You are ready to shine!

You can and will heal from your broken heart but this takes time and a personal understanding that you can accept the hand that life has dealt you. And that you can and will take the steps forward to make your life a fun life again.

3 steps toward a new you, a new life, disposal of the old you and onto the new you.

Only YOU can make the decision to move forward… and YOU do need to move forward.

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