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Is your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until it’s too late to change it and save it.

You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isn’t the whole point of the marriage—it’s much more important than just that—it’s a crucial part of a healthy marriage.

A marriage in crisis is usually pretty easy to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?

When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.

But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners don’t have spontaneous sex. Usually there’s very little physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.

A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a quick pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?

When these things start to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious way is common courtesy. When you say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please,” throughout your day to strangers more than you say them to your partner, something’s wrong.

We take our partners for granted in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and say please) during the course of everyday life.

The good news is that if you’re seeing these warning signs, you can start working right now to correct them. And you don’t have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.

Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and say please and thank you, even when it’s just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.

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Do you know these 7 solid ways to build trust in your relationship?

Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. Frequent change can challenge even the strngest relationships.

The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in your relationship.

First you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to stir things up to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Second, you need to make sure that what you say always matches how you say it. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship and you make life exciting because of the predictability.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Fourth, don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Seventh, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

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