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You may have to try a little tenderness

To get lover back you may have to take a close look at both yourself and them. There may be some things about you and the way that you are likely to handle the situation that could make matters worse. It could be things that you don’t realize. There could also be some things that the one you love are struggling with that may have made them a little fragile. Even though they may not seem like big deals to you, for some reason they are to them.

Before you make any attempts at reconciliation, take a good look at yourself. It may mean that you have to go seek not only relationship advice but trying to get help on finding areas for improvement that you have. You have to be open to criticisms and accept that they may be right. You have to ask someone, “What are the best things for me to work on so that I can get ex back?” Be ready for any reaction you might get. Will it bother you to hear those things? Maybe, but it will do you good and will help you to get lover back. Take the advice seriously and learn to be more sensitive.

Whatever the person you love may be feeling, it is real to them. Understand that they have something that is deeply troubling them and come to them softly and tenderly. When they get upset, don’t react. Fighting back or getting emotional won’t do anything to help you get ex back. It will only drive you apart. You have to learn how to nurture them and help them heal. You will also have to give them the time and space that they need. The tenderest touch that someone can get isn’t physical at all. It comes with a sense that you understand and that you are there for them.

There is a time for knocking some sense into someone but there is also a time for showing some tenderness and compassion. Know when those moments are and try to find the best way to act in them. True love will often require you to act and respond to things that don’t seem natural to you. If the relationship is important, you will make those adjustments. Tenderness may not come to you naturally but one way or another, you will probably have to learn how if you want to get lover back.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

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We are not born with the knowledge of getting back lost love. When the time comes to use these skills, without experience anything can happen. Usually you make mistakes and push the person farther away. So learn from others experience and read about the right ways to  win back your love and keep them.

The first thing you’ll want to do is to chase after your ex… this is a big mistake. If you’ve just broken up then your emotions are raw, the drama is playing over and over in your head. You need space from your ex at this time. Don’t drive them further away, don’t make the mistake of contacting them and promising anything to get them back. Allow yourself the space of cooling down, settling your emotions and not allowing communication with your ex (text, email, phone, IM, etc.)  to keeping your emotions stirred up.

While you are allowing yourself this time it’s a good idea to take care of yourself first, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to experience a few things as a single, just to keep yourself occupied for the short term. Even if it was something that you did that caused the breakup you need to remember that there is already a number one in your life, you! Stop sitting home night after night, alone, feeling sorry for yourself. To win back love you need to become the great person you were before.

Call up some old friends and have some fun with them and now is the time to do it!

Activity will keep you busy and too preoccupied to worry about your ex. This is a good thing, remember! Your self-esteem will be boosted and your self-confidence will soar. And this will impress your ex when you do finally have contact with them.

And start a regular exercise program. Renew that gym membership or simply start walking and taking the stairs when possible. Howe about a dance class or yoga? Win love back by exercising regularly. This also releases good endorphins which helps to boost positive feelings, energy and over-all health.

Anyone can get dumped. But not everyone knows the right way to win love back. But now you do!

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