Love can be cruel sometimes as is evident in some relationships. If mending broken hearts seems to be a reoccurring theme in your life then you need to sit back and reevaluate what is happening to cause this vicious cycle to occur in the first place.

No one likes having their heart broken, but they especially don’t like for it to happen repeatedly. The bad part is when someone doesn’t know that it is coming. That makes the pain even worse. When this happens the first step is to look back and see if there were any warning signs.

Sometimes signs are evident to others, but the person that it is happening to is oblivious to what is going on. This might be because they are preoccupied with the situation or they are just trying to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away. Were there any signs that this was going to occur? If so, you have to find out why they occurred in the first place.

Even though losing love is hard it is not the end of the world. Undoubtedly, the one who is hurt will hear this from others, but it is, in fact, the truth. This is a time to be with others and be surrounded with friends and family. This is not the time to hear people bashing your partner, unless it is obviously justified. The key here is to get out of the house. Sitting around just invites in pity and sorrow, which is something that is not going to help at this point.

The sooner that the hurt individual gets back out into the world the easier the recovery time will be. Letting things languish only drags out the pain. They should never try to contact the other person since further rejection will only open up old wounds. If it is meant to be they will see the separation as an eye-opening experience.

After you have had some time to heal then the last step is to sit down and see what you have learned. Were you too needy? Did you rush the relationship and possibly scare them away? Or were they possibly the wrong person for you? If you think about it enough the answer will present itself to you. Have a good friend sit down with you and talk it over. Sometimes a different view can bring things into perspective. Just remember: mending broken hearts is not easy, but it is possible.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

For most of us, getting over your first love can seem impossible. It’s hard to believe that we can ever really be happy again or that we will ever find someone who ‘gets’ us the same way our love did. The truth is, no matter how hard it is to believe right now, that as humans we are capable of loving many people. We can love very deeply and while we won’t love each person in exactly the same way, we can have more than one ‘true love’ in our lifetimes.

The most important thing you need to do is get yourself in a position where you will be able to love again, and that will take some time.

Here are the best steps for making a clean break so that you can move on and find love at some point:

1. You have to face the fact that your relationship is over. This is unbelievably hard to do. You thought the two of you would be together forever and you can’t imagine that it could really be over. You have to face the fact that it is over and cut off all communication with your ex.

2. Do not allow yourself to hide away. A few days, or weeks, of wallowing and hiding out is ok, but after that it’s time for you to rejoin the world. That’s not to say that you should start dating, you probably shouldn’t at this point, but you can start spending time with family and friends and not just moping around in your bathrobe for days on end.

3. Do those things that you weren’t able to do when the two of you were together. In all relationships there are things that one person doesn’t want to do and more often than not the person who does like to do it doesn’t get the chance. Now is the time to revisit those things that you’ve put on hold. Remember the activities and places that once brought you joy and let them bring you joy again.

4. Take this time to reevaluate who you are and what you want. Make yourself the best ‘you’ you can be. Lose weight, take a class, find a new job, paint your house, it doesn’t matter what it is as long as it will have a positive impact on your life. These types of activities will make you feel a little more in control and will help you grow as a person. They can also give you something to distract yourself from the pain you are feeling, at least for a short time.

5. This is the hardest one… give yourself time. Whether you believe it or not at this point, some day the pain will fade and just be a memory and when that day comes you will be ready to love again. You have to give yourself the time you need to mourn your lost love and regain your strength. Don’t let others tell you when you should be over it, you will get over it at your pace. However, if you don’t seem to be moving forward even a little after several months you may need to have a counselor help you through the grieving process.

Getting over your first love will seem like an impossible task. After all, this is the first time you’ve ever felt like this and it’s easy to believe that you could never possible feel this way again, but you can, and if you give yourself time you will.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here