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Nobody ever wants a breakup, that is, not while things are going great.

But there are times when a relationship just happens to go sour, out of sync, stale.

When that happens it is time to make a break and move on with your life.

Maybe what you need to do is plan your moves on the day you choose to make this big change to your life.

Make yourself a to-do list, it may look like this:

• take the dog out for a walk
• pick up the mail
• dust the living room
• break up with him/her

This isn’t going to one of these all-out argument-breakups, no clothes going out the window, no breaking of furniture. This is going to be a rational discussion with your partner and the reasons to end things now.

For this breakup talk you need to have compassion for the other, you have to show concern, and you have to hold strong and be patient.

Don’t set the tone for an argument. Don’t be on the offensive and don’t put your partner on the defensive.

The staleness of the relationship has already led you to the brink of breakup and it’s the right move to do now.

Say what you have to say, listen to what they have to say… and end things as friends.

Don’t take what they have said personally, they may be expressing hurt, sorrow, and a lot of emotions.

When the conversation is over and all is said and done, you should feel relief maybe with a tinge of sadness. But don’t feel guilty for ending the relationship. The only guilt you should feel is for leaving things go on for so long.

Should you ever consider reconnecting after this breakup talk? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide but not right now, later on maybe. Virtually all relationships can be saved if realistic changes and conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get past this event as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

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